As it stands now, I don't work out at all and I don't pay any attention to what I eat. Zero. I'm not happy with how I look or feel. I don't have much energy. I usually view the day in terms of what I "have to do", instead of what I "get to do". It really ends up feeling like I'm just getting by...and I hate that. I want to feel good and enjoy my life, not just feel sick and tired day after day.
I usually try my best to conceal how I feel and most of the time I pull it off. I clean up okay, but in my heart I know that I'm settling. I want something better for myself. There is a lot of shame and fear in admitting that for me. So why would I fess up on a blog for anyone to see? Well, it's all part of the plan. I am getting help. I start a 12 week plan tomorrow with FIT Systems. It is as far out of my comfort zone as I can get. Sending photos, measurements and my weight to a childhood friend that I haven't seen since 6th grade and a bunch of strangers everyweek. Agreeing to keep a food diary and follow a workout plan. Buying the bikini I will take after photos in on my first trip to Vegas in February. What! I can't believe I am doing this...but I am very excited. It's my time. I'm going to do this and I will not fail. I'm putting it all out there for everyone to see, for everyone to hold me accountable. Let the journey begin!
Good for you Marianna.
ReplyDeleteLooking forward to hearing more of your journey of discovery and change.