Sunday, November 11, 2012


I have a secret.  I have always wanted to know what it would be like to be in shape...really in shape.  Strong, athletic, confident and secure in your own body.  I know people who go to the gym or do CrossFit and I admire them.  I see people running on the sidewalk and I'm sort of baffled.  How do they do that?  Do they actually like running?

As it stands now, I don't work out at all and I don't pay any attention to what I eat.  Zero.  I'm not happy with how I look or feel.  I don't have much energy.  I usually view the day in terms of what I "have to do", instead of what I "get to do".  It really ends up feeling like I'm just getting by...and I hate that.  I want to feel good and enjoy my life, not just feel sick and tired day after day.  

I usually try my best to conceal how I feel and most of the time I pull it off.  I clean up okay, but in my heart I know that I'm settling.  I want something better for myself.  There is a lot of shame and fear in admitting that for me.  So why would I fess up on a blog for anyone to see?  Well, it's all part of the plan.  I am getting help.  I start a 12 week plan tomorrow with FIT Systems.  It is as far out of my comfort zone as I can get.  Sending photos, measurements and my weight to a childhood friend that I haven't seen since 6th grade and a bunch of strangers everyweek. Agreeing to keep a food diary and follow a workout plan.  Buying the bikini I will take after photos in on my first trip to Vegas in February.  What!  I can't believe I am doing this...but I am very excited.  It's my time.  I'm going to do this and I will not fail.  I'm putting it all out there for everyone to see, for everyone to hold me accountable.  Let the journey begin!   

1 comment:

  1. Good for you Marianna.
    Looking forward to hearing more of your journey of discovery and change.